I will never forget the night, September 12th 2008, I was checking my email and flashing before my eyes was a name and a face that I had not seen in almost 10 years. Although I had talked about this person everyday in the classroom, I could not believe he was trying to contact me. Kristopher John McFadden. My mouth dropped to the floor when I saw that he had requested me as a friend on facebook. Should I accept him? Why does he want to be my friend? Why? Those were the some of the many questions going through my mind. If you know me, you know I can be a little dramatic at times.
My curiosity pushed me into accepting him. As I studied his site I found out that he had become a Christian like I had! I almost fell out of my bed!!! How can this be? God, are you serious? The next day I received and email from him stating how he had become a Christian through a program called Teen Challenge. God had put on his heart to contact me. He mentioned how he had been looking for me for about year because there were somethings he needed to say to me. I knew in God's sovereignty that he was right on time in finding me.
Here begins a journey of joy that I would have never expected...
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
God's Love Story Part 1
I have been wanting to blog for some time now but have now been able to put into words all that God has done for in the last 3 or months. I honestly do not even know where to start. Tears start to well up in my eyes even in this very moment.
The story God has written for my life brings me to my knees. I have had tremendous joy, laughter and pain. I look back at all God has brought me through and I stand amazed because He is so faithful. He’s so loving and patient.
If you know me, I often mention how difficult the season of my life was from 2007 to into 2008. It was hell! During this dark season I learned how to trust God regardless of my feelings. I learned how to be rejected by others but at the same time I stood on the fact that the God of the universe would not. I learned how to speak to truth to my inner man when the storm life did not make sense. I knew God was not going to spare me from my storm. He wanted me to endure with Him. He walked with me in every step of the way. Although he gave me the choice to numb the pain in other ways, by His spirit I choose to endure the pain, believing I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.
Two main verses come to mind that the Lord had given me. John 12:24, “Truly, truly I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit.” And Isaiah 43:18-19, “Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing.” These verses were life lines to me. They were bread to my soul.
On October 29th, 2007 God told me to do a prophetic act. He told me to go buy a flower pot and buy some wheat grass seeds and I did. At the time I had been reading Genesis. I came to the very familiar story of the sacrifice of Isaac. The verse that God had me meditate on was Gen 22:14 which says, “the Lord will provide.” Before I planted those wheat grass seeds into the soil I named all the things I was dying to , my “lost dreams”, the loss of my innocence, my abortion, my break ups, and my family issues. I found that I could not make these seeds grow. I could only be faithful to water them. It was so exciting when the seeds began to sprout up. I knew I did not do it, but God. That was a picture of what God was going to do with the spiritual seeds I had planted.
The year of 2007 continues on. My circumstance did not change, it actually got worse. One thing I will never forget is how close Jesus was. He seemed to be more tangible than ever. I know he was carrying me or I would never have made it! I also want to thank those who prayed for me, called me and encouraged me to endure. You know who you are!
I would have never imagined what God had right around the corner for me. I would have never dreamed this would happen but it did! I will write back soon to let you know the details of a God who wrote me the most redeeming and beauitful love story I would have never written for myself.
The story God has written for my life brings me to my knees. I have had tremendous joy, laughter and pain. I look back at all God has brought me through and I stand amazed because He is so faithful. He’s so loving and patient.
If you know me, I often mention how difficult the season of my life was from 2007 to into 2008. It was hell! During this dark season I learned how to trust God regardless of my feelings. I learned how to be rejected by others but at the same time I stood on the fact that the God of the universe would not. I learned how to speak to truth to my inner man when the storm life did not make sense. I knew God was not going to spare me from my storm. He wanted me to endure with Him. He walked with me in every step of the way. Although he gave me the choice to numb the pain in other ways, by His spirit I choose to endure the pain, believing I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.
Two main verses come to mind that the Lord had given me. John 12:24, “Truly, truly I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit.” And Isaiah 43:18-19, “Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing.” These verses were life lines to me. They were bread to my soul.
On October 29th, 2007 God told me to do a prophetic act. He told me to go buy a flower pot and buy some wheat grass seeds and I did. At the time I had been reading Genesis. I came to the very familiar story of the sacrifice of Isaac. The verse that God had me meditate on was Gen 22:14 which says, “the Lord will provide.” Before I planted those wheat grass seeds into the soil I named all the things I was dying to , my “lost dreams”, the loss of my innocence, my abortion, my break ups, and my family issues. I found that I could not make these seeds grow. I could only be faithful to water them. It was so exciting when the seeds began to sprout up. I knew I did not do it, but God. That was a picture of what God was going to do with the spiritual seeds I had planted.
The year of 2007 continues on. My circumstance did not change, it actually got worse. One thing I will never forget is how close Jesus was. He seemed to be more tangible than ever. I know he was carrying me or I would never have made it! I also want to thank those who prayed for me, called me and encouraged me to endure. You know who you are!
I would have never imagined what God had right around the corner for me. I would have never dreamed this would happen but it did! I will write back soon to let you know the details of a God who wrote me the most redeeming and beauitful love story I would have never written for myself.
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