My God Has Carried Me Like A Man Carries His Son

People have told me that I have a gift in being vulnerable and real. I am going to take a risk and be vulnerable once again trusting that God has pressed this on my heart to write about.
January of last year my ex and I were sensing that are season of being together was coming to a close I came to a prayer night by myself at a church that I did not know God would call my own. Two people came up to me separately and told me the same thing. They told me that 2007 would be about God showing me how much He loves me. He would show me how I would not have to perform for His love. At the time I didn't want to hear that. I wanted a man to show me that. So I hated every word that they said because I knew that meant that I truly could no longer hold on to my current relationship. As I let go the pain at times felt unbearable like God was killing me. The funny thing is, He was! They were both right. God has brought me through tremendous pain but I can't imagine where I would be if I didn't allow myself to sit in the pain. He has shown me how much He loves me but I am still in the process of learning that I do not have to perform for it. Everything that I put my identity in has been taken from me the pass year and God has still showed himself to be faithful through it all! When I look back at all I have endured, I stand amazed knowing it was my Savior who carried me like a Father carries his son.
I am so thankful for those who spoke life to me even when I thought it was death. Looking with new eyes, I see 2007 was a year of rebuilding. To rebuild, you often have to tear down. Someone once said they saw my life as a beautiful Mosaic. To me in the natural my life looked like a mess, but day by day, they more I trust God, the more I see the pain, mystery and tears becoming a beautiful picture that I could never design myself. " I feel Him picking up the pieces."



I obviously love how songs can relate to where I am at, soooo here is another song by Sara Groves called Less Like Scars


It's been a hard year
But I'm climbing out of the rubble
These lessons are hard
Healing changes are subtle
But every day it's

Less like tearing, more like building
Less like captive, more like willing
Less like breakdown, more like surrender
Less like haunting, more like remember

And I feel you here
And you're picking up the pieces
Forever faithful
It seemed out of my hands, a bad situation
But you are able
And in your hands the pain and hurt
Look less like scars and more like
Character

Less like a prison, more like my room
It's less like a casket, more like a womb
Less like dying, more like transcending
Less like fear, less like an ending

And I feel you here
And you're picking up the pieces
Forever faithful
It seemed out of my hands, a bad situation
But you are able
And in your hands the pain and hurt
Look less like scars

Just a little while ago
I couldn't feel the power or the hope
I couldn't cope, I couldn't feel a thing
Just a little while back
I was desperate, broken, laid out, hoping
You would come

And I need you
And I want you here
And I feel you

And I know you're here
And you're picking up the pieces
Forever faithful
It seemed out of my hands, a bad, bad situation
But you are able

And in your hands the pain and hurt
Look less like scars (x3)

And more like
Character