Our Precious Gift

Isaac Kristopher McFadden, born Wednesday May 26Th at 12:45 am. The birth of my sweet little boy did not play out like I planned in my head. A c-section never entered my mind but after being in labor for 18 long hours I no longer cared about my agenda.

When I really had the chance to look into the his eyes for the first time I was brought to amazement that God would be so kind to Kris and I. I know everyone says it but I can't believe how much I love this person that I do not even truly know yet. I am constantly checking his bassinet to make sure he's breathing. I am constantly praying, ' God please protect him and keep him safe'. Ultimately I know his life is in God's hands even though I am going to do my best to protect him.

Having a child brings a new meaning to responsibility.I am aware of how I need God's grace every hour and every moment of the day. I wrote in another blog post a couple of years ago that I wanted to set a new foundation after me. God answered my prayer. I pray Isaac will carry on a new foundation for our family. One that is founded on the mercy and grace of Christ Jesus our Lord! Without him we have no foundation at all.

Thank Father God for giving my husband and this precious gift. I love Isaac so much! I pray for the grace to teach him your ways and show him your love. I pray his heart is captured by you at the earliest age possible.

In Jesus' name, Amen!!!

I never thought my life would change so much in less than a year. Not only did I get married but my husband and I are awaiting our little boy Isaac Kristopher McFadden to enter into the world in just a week! Again the redemption continues.

People who I do not know often ask me, "Is this your first?" My mouth says yes, but my heart immediately Say's no. I cannot help but think about the little one my husband and I aborted when I was in high school. It's not a guilt thing but a reminder of the grace of God on our lives. We do not deserve this gift but God is so gracious and so loving entrust us with another child.

When I went through post abortion counseling I named our aborted baby Tyler because God had given me a dream that he was a boy. How kind of God to give us another boy. What a forgiving God I serve. I can't wait until the day that I will meet Tyler.

I am also so anxious to meet Isaac. I am trying to use this time to sit and be with Jesus before my life is completely consumed by this precious little gift. I know God will have him arrive at the perfect time.

I am looking forward to hearing his first cry as he leaves my womb and comes into this world. I can't wait to touch him for the first time and hold him in my arms. I can't wait to watch my husband hold him and study his every feature. It will overwhelm me I am sure.

The pain will be worth it!!! There always comes joy out of pain:-)

Together at Last

After meeting a Buca Kris and I had many more conversations. I realized very quickly that Kris was wanting more than a friendship. I did not want to jump into anything or assume this was what God wanted. Why is it when I want to take things slow, God seems to speed up the process?

I remember one night talking to Kris on the phone and he told me, "The longer you know me, the more you will trust me." I would not admit it at the time but his character and consistency amazed me! At times I would have to admit that I was mean and stand offish to him. I was testing him. I secretly loved that it did not faze him one bit. He trusted completely in God not matter how much I freaked out!

Long story short Kris eventually won my heart! He asked me to be his girlfriend in November of 2008 and in only two short months on New Years at the stroke of midnight he asked me to be his wife!

We got married June 27th, 2009! I loved every part of the wedding. One of my favorite parts was walking down the aisle to Sara Groves, "He's Always Been Faithful To Me." When I look at my life every part of that song is true and continues to be true.

I cannot tell you how amazing it has been to share our story in the classroom with Amnion. It absolutely blows people away! I know God has so many plans for us and I can't wait to walk through it all! What a redeeming God we serve! I am reminded of it everyday that I get to come home to a man who loves me so well!

I could not have written a better story myself:) God is so fun!
Posted by isa4031 at 11:25 PM

Redemption is my theme!!!

I can remember the night like it was yesterday. God had given me peace to meet up with Kris after not seeing each other in almost ten years! So many different thoughts and emotions were going through me. I could not believe after all these years God was bring this man back into my life. At this point I have no idea why but God definitely had my attention.

We decided to meet at Buca Di Bepo for dinner. When I first saw him I was thinking in my head, "nope, not attracted to him." I could not believe I was sitting across from this guy who had long ago broken my heart into a million pieces and now is wanting in someway mend it, although Jesus already had.

In his new quiet yet strong demeanor he began to apologize for the way he treated me in high school. He confessed that our past decision to abort our child ran through is mind more and I would think. He regretted just as I had. I sat there amazed at God and how he could change such undeserving people. My life really did feel like a movie. Never in a million years would I have ever thought Kris McFadden would apologize to me let along be a Christian. His Gospel is real and powerful! I sat there witnessing it. At this point I felt numb and unable to take in all that he was saying but I knew it was hard for him to share his heart.

Little did I know this one conversation would lead to many more redeeming moments in both of our lives:-)

Weeping may endure for the night, but Joy comes the morning!

I will never forget the night, September 12th 2008, I was checking my email and flashing before my eyes was a name and a face that I had not seen in almost 10 years. Although I had talked about this person everyday in the classroom, I could not believe he was trying to contact me. Kristopher John McFadden. My mouth dropped to the floor when I saw that he had requested me as a friend on facebook. Should I accept him? Why does he want to be my friend? Why? Those were the some of the many questions going through my mind. If you know me, you know I can be a little dramatic at times.

My curiosity pushed me into accepting him. As I studied his site I found out that he had become a Christian like I had! I almost fell out of my bed!!! How can this be? God, are you serious? The next day I received and email from him stating how he had become a Christian through a program called Teen Challenge. God had put on his heart to contact me. He mentioned how he had been looking for me for about year because there were somethings he needed to say to me. I knew in God's sovereignty that he was right on time in finding me.

Here begins a journey of joy that I would have never expected...

God's Love Story Part 1

I have been wanting to blog for some time now but have now been able to put into words all that God has done for in the last 3 or months. I honestly do not even know where to start. Tears start to well up in my eyes even in this very moment.
The story God has written for my life brings me to my knees. I have had tremendous joy, laughter and pain. I look back at all God has brought me through and I stand amazed because He is so faithful. He’s so loving and patient.

If you know me, I often mention how difficult the season of my life was from 2007 to into 2008. It was hell! During this dark season I learned how to trust God regardless of my feelings. I learned how to be rejected by others but at the same time I stood on the fact that the God of the universe would not. I learned how to speak to truth to my inner man when the storm life did not make sense. I knew God was not going to spare me from my storm. He wanted me to endure with Him. He walked with me in every step of the way. Although he gave me the choice to numb the pain in other ways, by His spirit I choose to endure the pain, believing I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.

Two main verses come to mind that the Lord had given me. John 12:24, “Truly, truly I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit.” And Isaiah 43:18-19, “Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing.” These verses were life lines to me. They were bread to my soul.

On October 29th, 2007 God told me to do a prophetic act. He told me to go buy a flower pot and buy some wheat grass seeds and I did. At the time I had been reading Genesis. I came to the very familiar story of the sacrifice of Isaac. The verse that God had me meditate on was Gen 22:14 which says, “the Lord will provide.” Before I planted those wheat grass seeds into the soil I named all the things I was dying to , my “lost dreams”, the loss of my innocence, my abortion, my break ups, and my family issues. I found that I could not make these seeds grow. I could only be faithful to water them. It was so exciting when the seeds began to sprout up. I knew I did not do it, but God. That was a picture of what God was going to do with the spiritual seeds I had planted.

The year of 2007 continues on. My circumstance did not change, it actually got worse. One thing I will never forget is how close Jesus was. He seemed to be more tangible than ever. I know he was carrying me or I would never have made it! I also want to thank those who prayed for me, called me and encouraged me to endure. You know who you are!

I would have never imagined what God had right around the corner for me. I would have never dreamed this would happen but it did! I will write back soon to let you know the details of a God who wrote me the most redeeming and beauitful love story I would have never written for myself.

Authenticity

The book of Galatians is probably one of my favorite books in the bible because it talks about the freedom we have in Christ. God knows I struggle so much with wanting to earn His love by performing and “doing everything right”. Lately He has been breaking that in me. I feel so out of control. I do not feel like doing anything spiritual. I am losing my desire to go to church, I don’t want to go to prayer, and I am having a hard time really reading the bible. It all feels like I am doing it out of duty. I know I can’t make decisions based on how I feel but that’s where I am at. Oddly enough, I hear God saying its ok. I hear him saying that he is doing a deep work in me. I trust it because His love for me is so much more stubborn than mine. He pursues my heart so well. I love Jesus with all my heart, I really do. A friend of mine said I think he is building authenticity in you. I completely agree. If I am going to do things for the kingdom, I want to do all for God. I don’t want to do for man’s favor, or simply because I think doing it will bring me closer to God.